All demons in me
by S.B. Liky
Summary: Successful doctor is one who builds career on successful cases. Doctor Kuchiki Rukia has volunteered to become member of Hueco Mundo - Asylum for mentally unstable individuals and as her first case she chose one case everyone else gave up on. She will learn in the most difficult of ways that not everyone wants to be saved and her determination will be put to the test. Asylum AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: How did I got idea for the story? Simple, I was playing Batman: Arkham Asylum and after failing couple of times to complete a level due to being shot down like Daffy Duck during duck season, I thought to myself that I am just about tired of doing favor to those pricks by not snapping their necks or slashing them in half! Idea of slashing remained and I thought... who would do well? Someone with big sword because I deserve a break too and bam! Ichigo came to mind! Yeah, I went from Batman to Bleach. Initial idea was to make Rukia the insane one but it didn't stick so... resident madman became Ichigo. I am not sure if this is original idea or not, if not... well I do apologize in front as I do not intend to claim any idea as my own... still this idea seemed interesting in my head and practically unrolled one chapter after another. First story of 2017 and also first story where I use female character's perspective as main one. Exploring!

Small note as you read on. _**Italic bold letters**_ indicate the 'other' side of Ichigo's personality.

* * *

 _15th September 2016_

 _Doctor's log_

 _I finally did it. Contrary to popular belief among my colleagues, I am not crazy for choosing to work in Hueco Mundo. Transfer papers have been processed without my family's knowledge. I even kept my colleagues, my most trusted of friends in the dark about this. To say that my brother was furious would be an understatement. I don't think he will ever forgive me for taking on this job… but I feel like I should be here._

 _On the very first day here, I met the most curious of cases…_

* * *

Aizen read the documentation in silence. His pleasant facial lines, few strands of hair that fell over his face, lightly touching his glasses and the edges of lips slightly curved up were enough to make Rukia nervous on her chair. Respectively, she refrained from staring at him for more than few seconds at the time but she could swear that couple of time he caught her gaze and it would make her stomach clench even more. He is indeed a very handsome man, there is not a single shred of doubt about it… and yet he gave away strange aura, one that managed to imbed fear, admiration and respect. Perhaps, she thought, it is needed… such a man is needed to run place like this and everyone she knew highly praised him. Man of action, man of plan and strong conviction… it felt as if she is in front of celebrity. He is there, sitting across her at his large wooden desk, examining papers that she brought.

"Quite impressive, doctor Kuchiki." He finally broke silence, prompting her to slightly twitch on her chair "Top five in your class, summa cum laude, completed all your exams with highest grades and quite the list of professors who are recommending you." Aizen continued, slowly placing papers down on the table. His eyes shifted and looked directly at her, locking gaze with hers. In an instant, she felt as if he is staring into the very depths of her soul, like he is reading her every thought.

"Yes, thank you for your praise, doctor Sosuke." Rukia added a bit nervously, not sure how to respond other than to thank him.

"Please, no need to be so formal." He smiled at her. Hand moved up and with great amount of grace removed glasses that sat on his nose. Well, now it was worse for her… nothing between their gazes to 'protect' her from his piercing gaze "I am, however, quite interested to hear what brings you here."

"W-well…" Rukia cleared her throat. If there is time to impress him, it is now and to do that, she decided to be cocky "As you said, I am among the best in my class and I felt that best way to test my skills is to challenge myself."

"That is quite correct." Aizen added with soft voice, amused by her tone "You come from highly distinguished family. You are sister to Kuchiki Byakuya?"

"Yes. You know him, doctor?"

"Quite well, actually." Aizen replied, moving his hair up from face. That one move seemingly changed entire perspective of him. He looked less like a gentleman and more like a predator "All the way back from high school days. He is very influential man nowadays; surely he could've chosen a better place for his sister to display her skills."

"Isn't doctor needed where sick are?" She asked, surprising him with the question "Surely patients here are in need of the doctor most."

"My my… we are cocky. Blood of Kuchiki flows strong in you but you are not wrong. Still, as a doctor you also must consider your career. If you are to be challenged, you must be known and career is built on successful cases. Tell me, doctor Kuchiki, do you know why this institution is called 'Hueco Mundo'?" Rukia was in silence. She didn't know the answer and she waved her head, much to his expectation "The Hollow World. In here, we don't get cases of mild schizophrenia or insomnia. Here come the cases that are considered long lost… those who are empty inside, void of any reason, logic and sanity. Only a handful of those who come here will leave… You are in institution which sees curing them as secondary objective. Do you know what our primary one is?"

"I do not wish to assume." Rukia replied, making Aizen show his smirk.

"Our primary goal is to keep them away from everyone else." He placed his glasses down on his desk. His right elbow was now firmly placed on the table and fingers of same hand held his head that leaned in arm. "I admire your enthusiasm, doctor Kuchiki, but I worry about your own sanity. Please, do not see this as an insult but I am also not here to assume. Eventually, every doctor will chase career and you will see that there is little here to improve your status. But you already know that, don't you?" He asked and she nodded " Well then, welcome aboard, doctor Kuchiki."

"Thank you, doctor Sosuke!" She replied enthusiastically.

"Mister Grimmjow will give you the tour and bring necessary documentation to start your work. I assume you intend to start right away?"

"Of course, doctor." Rukia added and stood up from chair, leaving Aizen's office. Outside of it, man was already waiting for her. Tall, wearing white uniform, sporting teal hair color which immediately caught her attention. He didn't need any explanation, all was already said prior to Rukia's arrival and he politely showed to his left, urging Rukia to follow.

"So, you're new doc, huh?" He asked, looking down at petite woman walking beside him. Contrary to Aizen's obscured dominance in office, Grimmjow didn't try to hide his side. His tone matched his imposing posture "Well I would like to say you're gonna have great time but… it's hell."

"Is it that bad?" She asked, looking up at him.

"You'll see soon enough. You've seen reception downstairs… that's where you check in. First floor is cases that are… insane but mostly puppies."

"And your worst cases?"

"Wow, straight to the demon pit, huh?" He snorted at her question. They reached elevator and he pressed button, waiting for door to open and elevator to take them up.

"Why is it called demon pit?" Rukia continued with questions.

"Cause they long since lost their humanity." Grimmjow commented as they stepped inside the elevator "Some of them are… long lost, ain't nobody gonna help them anymore. We keep them here so they don't hurt someone outside but most are here because they already did that."

Doors opened and long hallway before them revealed almost eerie sensation. Lower floors were busy, populated by doctors, nurses, orderlies, technicians... but this floor felt like a ghost town. Clean, disinfected, well managed ghost town. To both sides were metal doors with large reinforced glass that showed inside of the rooms.

"Chief informed me you are fresh graduate." Grimmjow added as they slowly walked.

"How much did doctor Sosuke tell you about me?" Rukia inquired, rising her eyebrow as orderly who chuckled.

"Enough. See, it's bad if you are here without knowing the ropes so… I am kinda here to assist you until you learn how to walk."

"Then you know I am among best in my class. Psychiatry is my specialty." Rukia huffed, slightly agitated by Grimmjow's comparison.

"Oh you know medicine alright, you don't know them." He waved with finger among the rooms "I ain't here to tell you how to treat them… see, you are kinda above me. No, I am here to tell you what not to do with them so that you don't get your pretty face smashed against the wall… or have your eyes plucked out."

"Are they capable of doing that?" Rukia gulped hard at the mental image. The thought of one of them slamming her against the floor or slipping fingers to gouge her eyes out did not sit well and she felt that uneasy knot in her guts begin to clench hard.

"See this?" He stopped and pulled his short sleeve up to show several scars on his shoulder. They looked like scratches and bite marks, long since healed but the remnants of it were visible "I work as part-time bouncer… you know, extra cash. Brown belt aikido, black belt tae kwon do. I topple guys twice my size and I didn't get this in a bar… no, I got this from him…"

He led her toward one of the doors. Inside was a frail looking man, though size was hard to determine. His skin looked pale, edges of his pajamas ripped and tattered and greasy, black hair covered his eyes. Instead of sitting on bed, he was in the far left corner with pillow in lap and blanket on the floor, creating a 'barrier' between him in corner and rest of the room.

"Ulquiorra Cifer." Grimmjow commented "I was changing his bed sheet when bastard decided to attack me. I turned my head for two seconds and he was already on me like spider money… Bastard ripped through my sleeve like it was paper and kept biting me. Twenty years' worth of martial arts did not prepare me for him…"

"Why was he admitted?" Rukia inquired as she looked at man squatting in corner.

"Would you believe me if I say clinical depression? It was mild at first… family brought him because they feared he would kill himself. Once he got here… it only got worse. Long list of violence, assaults on orderly and other patients got him on top floor of our little piece of hell."

"How long is he here?"

"Two years." Grimmjow sighed "At first he only spoke with doctor Inoue… she is only one who managed to get through to him. But as it always happens here, doctors leave, get to better positions and we are left to deal with them. He stopped talking to doctors, withdrawn himself into his own world. Poor sod is gonna die here."

He looked once more toward Ulquiorra and just waved his head, moving onto the next room. Rukia followed his guide to the step, anxious and fearful of what could come next. In contrast to previous room, this one was much more active. Tall man paced around the room, snarling like a beast and occasionally moving to the wall only to slam fist against it once before resuming his pacing.

"Nnoitra Gilga." Grimmjow said, waiting for Rukia to inspect the erratic behavior that patient displayed "Diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder. Walking time bomb killed five men in pure affect before they caught him and… eventually ended up here. I think tranquilizers are soon gonna lose effect on him. Almost got to me once but… dealing with rage is something I am used to."

Rukia quietly observed patient. It didn't take long for Nnoitra to notice that he is being watched. He made a running start and in two steps he was already at the door, slamming both hands against the reinforced glass. It vibrated but didn't bend enough to be broken.

"You look tasty!" He shouted and pressed his tongue against glass, moving it slowly up "I'm gonna eat you first!"

"Knock it off, Gilga!" Grimmjow interjected, slamming his fist against the glass, making him and Rukia flinch. Madman quickly regained his 'senses' and let out a maniacal chuckle at orderly.

"Long time no seeeeeee…" Nnoitra said, elongating last word as long as his breath would allow. After he took a deep inhale, he continued "You are pretty brave standing behind the door. Come on in so I can rip your entrails and make them into a puppet!"

As orderly simply frowned at the words, Rukia wandered away from him, moving onto the very end of the hallway, shifting her gaze from one door to another. It was a colorful display of mental disorders among patients and she soon understood why this was called 'hollow world'. None displayed a single shred of humanity with which they were born, which they needed to have. Schizophrenia, hallucinations, misophonia… if you can name one, it can be seen here. She watched patients with pity in eyes, trying to understand how they felt. But truth is, she couldn't. There was no way for her to understand just what kind of demons plagued them, what haunted their minds and drew them into insanity where treatment was just a long shot rather than viable option.

Yet, one thing caught her eye… At the very end, there was one door that revealed something she did not expect. A man, late twenties, probably early thirties, bright orange hair, sitting on his bed with knees bent up and arms resting on knees. He was looking down, somewhere between his feet and to her great surprise… he looked normal.

"Who is he?" Rukia asked as Grimmjow approached, finishing his exchange of 'compliments' with Nnoitra.

"Him?" He asked and looked through the glass. Grimmjow's lips pressed hard and eyebrows furrowed as he watched man on bed "Kurosaki Ichigo. Don't bother with him, he is long gone."

"Kurosaki…" She repeated "Is he- ?"

"Yep!" Grimmjow nodded, keeping gaze on Ichigo "Son of the illustrious doctor Kurosaki Isshin. Sod's been here for five years already, everyone gave up on him."

"What is his diagnosis?"

"He's a walking, talking encyclopedia of mental diseases. Every doctor here got to different conclusion and… all are right. Most prominent is split personality disorder."

She kept looking through the glass, watching man keep his gaze down between his feet. A small bit of curiosity sparked in her as he lifted his head and looked out through window. Her eyes kept scanning him, up and down, trying to remember every detail about him like it is last time she will see him. Expression on his face was everything but maniacal, nothing like those she just saw in other rooms. He was calm, like a man patiently waiting for his train to arrive.

"He looks lonely…" She commented silently but not enough for Grimmjow to miss it.

"Yea he'll make you believe that. I tackled with him once when he became too violent and I tell you, that man is freakishly strong… Not just strong, he is precise."

"Why is he here?" Rukia asked, still looking carefully at him. For a brief moment, she caught Ichigo's gaze and the saddened expression he had on his face. He didn't linger on her eyes but she could swear that he silently screamed for help, crying for someone to walk in and talk to him. His gaze once more wandered outside of window. Like a wild animal in cage, dreaming of the days long since passed when he ran free. Her hear clenched as she looked at the depressing image of a man who lost his will to live.

"Arrested for murder and brought here for psychiatric evaluation. Came for the view, stayed for the service… He ripped his victim apart." Grimmjow explained, making Rukia gulp hard.

"Ripped apart?"

"It's as advertised. Literally clawed man's ribs, heart and stomach out. So far, he had four doctors; none of them were able to get to him."

"Then who will treat him if everyone gives up on him?"

"Look doc, not everyone can be saved. He'll likely either die her of age or finally find way to kill himself."

"Finally?" Rukia asked, finally breaking her gaze away from Ichigo and looked up at orderly "How many times did he try?"

"Umm… pffff… I'd say five times this year alone." Grimmjow gave a solid nod "He tried hanging himself, cutting veins open, tried starving himself… and once he tried to bash his head against wall. See that mark over there?" He pointed to the far left and indeed there was a faint stain on the wall, remnant of blood that was not entirely washed "That's where he hit his head. Fortunately, idiot passed out before he could cause any substantial damage to himself."

Rukia watched the spot orderly pointed at, wondering what could've drove a man to do such a thing, to consistently hit that one spot until it became bloody red, even though room itself had paddings. He had to use great force to reach the solid basis of it… it had to be incredible desire to end his life to do such a thing. She once again looked at Ichigo who repeatedly moved his hand through messy hair. The desperate call became deafeningly loud… such young man plagued by his own inner demons. What would he be like if he wasn't unstable?

"Chief mentioned that, since you are new, you should pick one case. Regulations and all… so… shall we go downstairs?"

"Can you bring me his chart?" Rukia asked, keeping his eyes glued on Ichigo.

"Seriously?" Grimmjow chuckled briefly before his face lost all visible signs of amusement "Wait, you are serious…"

"Yes." She said, already choosing her patient.

"Look, doc…" He reasoned "I know you want to help him, trust me I want to help the idiot too… but take it from me, more experienced doctors gave up on him. If you're gonna go one case at the time, this one is going to be only one you'll ever work…"

"I understand." Rukia confirmed "I'll still like his chart. Can you please unlock the doors for me?"

"Wait, you are going in?" Grimmjow asked, widening his eyes at the petite woman who nodded "I'll go call another orderly…"

"No need. I'll be in alone."

"Oh no no! Not letting you in alone. My ass is on the line if he tries to gnaw your neck!"

Rukia quickly reached for small notebook that was in her lab coat and looked for first empty page. She began writing, rather fast and as she finished, she signed at the bottom and ripped page, offering it to Grimmjow.

"This states that I understood your warning and you are not responsible for anything that happens inside."

"And they say patients here are insane…" Grimmjow grumbled and pulled a keychain with quite a bit of keys on it, unlocking the doors to the room. Rukia entered room and closed doors behind her, but Ichigo was still not looking at her… only when she took a few steps closer to bed, he averted his gaze and measured her up and down. She felt the sudden rush of fear that overtook her… surely a man capable of ripping another man apart should not be taken lightly. Still, she proceeded and walked over to bed.

"Hello?" She said in soft, quiet tone aiming not to spook or provoke him. Ichigo said nothing, keeping his idle gaze outside of window. "I am- "

"Doctor Kuchiki." Ichigo said, his tone was sound and clear.

"Yes… how did you know?" She asked and he lifted his right hand. Finger extended and pointed at her lab coat and a small tag that said 'R. Kuchiki'. After swallowing hard, she managed to offer a forced grin at him "You are observant."

"You are not the first, won't be the last…" He said, continuing his calmness but refusing to lock gaze with her, preferring view he currently has "Ku-chi-ki… What is Byakuya to you?"

"Brother… Older brother, actually." She answered.

"…"

"Can you tell me your name?"

"You know it already…"

"Yes, but I would like you to tell me."

"Why?" He shot just as she finished her sentence. His eyes suddenly made connection with hers and it made her flinch a bit.

"I will be your doctor." Rukia answered, collecting her courage to remain calm. Ichigo snorted at this, moving his right hand up through his hair and began to violently scratch his scalp.

"Which one?" He asked.

"Which one what?"

"Which one you want to know about?" He repeated question, specifying his intent "Me or… me?"

"With whom am I speaking now?"

"I-chi-go" He spelled his name, slowly like he is reciting it in a poem.

"And the other 'you'? Is he here? Can you call for him?"

"You think this is a game?" He asked, looking up at her again, lowering hand to once again rest on the bent knee "Look at him! He is a freak, let's go have fun and poke him. Ask him if he really has 'demons' talk inside his head or he's just pretending."

"No it's not like tha-"

" ** _LIAR!_** " He suddenly yelled with growling voice. The expression on his face changed and he showed clear signs of rage. His eyes, widened and gaze screamed of 'bloodthirst'

"I'm not ly-"

" ** _Don't you fucking dare lie to me you self-absorbed bitch!_** "

Rukia backed away on the bed, ready to stand up and rush toward the door. Before her was not the image of a lonely man who yearned for help, rather, a murderer who was aching to taste her blood. She reached for the post and just before she could stand up, he lowered head, burying face into his palms and let out a pained groan.

"Knock it off!" He suddenly shouted.

" _ **The bitch is here to prod us!**_ " Growl returned and disappeared once again in next sentence.

"I said knock it off!"

" ** _You need me! You won't survive without me!_** "

"Get out of my head already!"

Rukia's fear only grew stronger as she watched this exchange. Young man kept talking to himself, switching between deep, growling voice and the one she heard from him first time she entered. He was arguing with himself… one tried to convince him to snap her neck and the other kept shutting him up. Eventually, he started slamming his palm against left temple, as if this is but a bit of water in his ear he tried to remove.

"Get out!" He shouted and kept punching himself, each strike stronger than the other. In this heat of a moment, Rukia quickly leaned forward and grabbed his wrist, stopping his hand before it could reach Ichigo's head. He looked at her, breathing hard and fast and only then could she see what he really looked like. Big brown pupils gazed at her, adorned by large bags under eyes. His skin has lost the healthy pink complexion and was becoming pale, revealing that he has been here for long time… but most of all, she could see the exhaustion in him. He was tired, tired of argue, tired of staying here, tired of life and she began understanding why he raised his hand against himself.

He stopped, snapping hand away from her grasp and placing it down once again on knees.

"You can go now…" He said in quiet tone "You've seen what you needed to see… no need to waste time anymore."

"What makes you say that I am here to waste time?" She asked, adjusting herself on bed, now sitting closer to him.

"You are either here to build your career or to conduct your research. Either way, you need your ticket up and you think that if you solve this jigsaw that I call my head, it'll give you accolades. You won't earn your colleague's respect on me. Everything you need to know is in my chart. I've lost pieces long ago…"

"You know that much already?" She inquired, trying to see just how deep his rabbit hole does.

Ichigo smirked as he looked away, keeping his lips curved up as he chanted "Bipolar disorder, split personality disorder, aggression outbursts, schizophrenia, clinical depression, suicidal tendencies, clinical anxiety disorder. I have them all."

"Doctors told you all that?" She asked curiously.

"Doctors told me nothing. None of them diagnosed me in my presence."

It didn't take long for her to put two and two together. She took a deep breath as realization hit her "You went to medical school?"

"Graduated from Karakura Medical Academy, top of my class." He answered, followed by a chuckle and a mocking explanation "-doctor- Ichigo Kurosaki. Son of doctor Isshin Kurosaki… the boy prodigy… I diagnosed myself two weeks after I got here… no need for them to tell me. Doesn't help… I am still gonna be broken man day in and day out. Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it that you want?" She asked.

"Please leave me your pen before you leave."

"Is it so you can try to kill yourself?" She asked and he just nodded. It was easy answer, like asking if he wants a candy "You know it is not the answer."

"You don' know what it's like!" He shouted, but the voice was not of that other self. This was still him "You don't know what it is to live with THIS in my head!" He continued shouting and pressed his fist hard against forehead "I know what I have, I know what medications I need to take, what therapy to prescribe but that doesn't stop it from coming out! I wake up with holes in my memory only to be told that I attacked someone or bit someone or tried to rip someone's throat with my fingers!"

"No… you are right." Rukia answered calmly, looking down on the bed "I don't know what it's like."

"I don't know when it will come… I don't know what it will do but I have to live with it and if I kill someone again… who am I gonna blame for huh? Him or me?"

Rukia once again was left speechless, unsure how to answer. She was trained for this, to handle various psychiatric cases… she was taught how to handle people like him but she just didn't know what to say. Was it his story that enthralled her and left her dumbfounded? Or was it his big, brown eyes that reeked of desperation and the release from agony? His words showed intent to push her away as far as possible but she saw it… she saw the cry for help.

"You'll leave…" He said, hanging his head down from shoulder, once again staring between his feet "Just like everyone else."

"And if I don't?" Rukia asked, making Ichigo chuckle.

"Doctor Matsumoto, doctor Granz, doctor Kurotsuchi, doctor Inoue." He counted and after short pause continued "They said the same and then gave up. You won't be different."

"Well you are not going anywhere until you get better…" Rukia said and stood up from bed, looking down at Ichigo "So I suppose you will just have to wait and see."

Ichigo said nothing. His snort was the answer to her overly-optimistic words… he didn't have any reason to believe her and he didn't. Instead he continued to stare down in one spot, fighting endless battle with his inner demon. Rukia walked away, leaving the room and closing doors behind her. Just in time, Grimmjow returned to lock the door and hand rather thick folder to Rukia.

"Medical history, notes, treatments… all in there." He stated, removing key from the lock and checking if doors are locked "I still say you are making a mistake… if he's one case you need to crack, you'll only have one case in your career."

"Perhaps…" She stated and opened first page. There was image of Ichigo, younger and with better complexion. His hair was just as messy but shorter, well-kept and skin complexion healthy pink. She smiled softly, wondering if she will truly be able to reach to him, if she will able to make him look like he does on this image. "But if I manage to save even one person from the abyss, it will be life well spent."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Two chapters in two days... yea that's what happens when I get myself dedicated. This won't be long story, compared to some of the marathons I can write, I intend to keep this story short but detailed so. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _20th September 2016_

 _Doctor's log_

 _I spent entire weekend convincing my brother that I made the right choice, even though he wouldn't hear about it. My ears started to buzz from his lectures and how I have both my and our family's reputation to think about. I think that our father agrees with him, grandfather in particular… to them I spent small fortune on getting into best medical school only to end up in place where they believe my career will end. His silent fury extended to new limits and he refused to call me by my name, preferring to call me 'doctor Kuchiki'. At any other point in my life this would've crushed me but now… I honestly feel flattered. No matter what his personal opinion about me is, he has accepted my accomplishment… it was my family's money that gave me best possible education, but it was still me who spent hours after hours studying medicine._

 _Kurosaki Ichigo. I spent all morning trying to talk to him but all I got from him was silence. Orderly had him tied to his bed and I couldn't help but feel as if I am talking to a dog that has been on the leash for too long. As I read through his chart I noticed that every doctor had different theory as to what caused his sudden withdrawal and every doctor prescribed different set of medications with no significant improvements. I wonder if I can truly make the difference. My family won't be happy to hear what kind of case I work on but if they have seen his face, if they could only take a glimpse in his eyes, perhaps they would understand why I need to be here. It seems that no one else wants to._

* * *

Rukia wiped her eyes as she was sitting behind her desk filled with papers and documents. Medical records, personal history, CT scans, toxicology reports… years of continuous examinations done for one man only to head dead end. Noon was approaching and she made no progress today as Ichigo refused to talk to her. At first she thought that he was not even registering her, that his inner chaos has numbed his senses to such degree that he didn't even know where he is. That theory has proven to be invalid after he looked at her few times only to scoff and look away and another theory came in place. He was simply ignoring her… refusing to even acknowledge her presence in hopes that she will leave. But she didn't. She stayed for two hours, trying to make him talk over and over to a point she even became annoying to herself. Still he didn't budge. Like a prisoner sentenced for life, he sat on bed, leaned against the post with knees bent up and arms resting upon knees. His gaze was fixated outside, through the reinforced glass of the window and metal bars that stood between him and endless sky.

She let out a long sigh and moved finger across the small pad of her laptop, staring at the screen on which image of Ichigo in graduation uniform. He was standing next to his colleagues on the graduation day, grinning as he pointed on a tag on his white uniform. Final photograph of him taken with his sanity, the day he has received the title 'doctor'. Her free hand rubbed her own lips as she went through his files. Flawless record, not a single grade below the perfect, top of his class. As she stared at his doctoral dissertation she began realizing just how brilliant he is… or was. She could've been his subordinate now, and he could've been someone she could look up to… instead, she is here to watch him slowly descend into endless dark of the abyss and see as the last shreds of his sanity vanish like droplet of water on the hot sand.

"What went wrong, Ichigo?" She asked as she stared at picture, unable to deny that he looked rather handsome. He was sticking out from the crowd like his hair, one in thousand, ten thousand… one in million. Alas, the laptop failed to answer to her question and she closed it. If four doctors before her couldn't figure out what is wrong with him, what hope did she have from figuring it out in one day? She stood up and went out, strolling through the asylum on the rounds, checking all the patients. Every doctor had some form of priority when it came to patients, a particular case they chose but everyone was obligated to do rounds. First she went through the lower floors, watching how some of the doctors work, how nurses operate. The sight was pitiful… no matter how much they tried some of the patients simply were not compliant. Watching them kick and flail and scream… it's not how she envisioned her work but it is a reality. After each completed inspection, she would go up to the top floor and stand by Ichigo's door, observing him in silence. Now he was sitting down on the floor, leaned against padded wall and head lightly tapping against it.

The image of brilliant, handsome man flashed before her eyes. The smile that could captivate her has vanished. Now only husk of his former self was sitting in his room. He wouldn't talk to her and she needed for him to get used to her presence. Months ahead will be long so she will bid her time and be patient with him. Today, she'll let him battle his demons in head.

* * *

Another day came and another promise of a big nothing could be seen on horizon. Still, she tried her best to engage her brother in conversation who acknowledged nothing more than her title and last name. Formality was starting to be bothersome but she endured. It will take some time and while she waits for her brother to accept her choice, she will spend her time at institution, trying to break through the invisible wall that Ichigo placed around himself. As soon as she reached Ichigo's room, orderly was already there, waiting by the door.

"All ready for you doc." Grimmjow commented, pushing himself off the wall. It seemed he was waiting for her for quite a bit.

Rukia greeted him with a nod and smile and looked through the window. Ichigo was sitting on the bed, wrists wrapped with hard, thick leather that were fixed to sides of bed. Like a prisoner of Inquisition, he waited for his tormentor. She looked over at Grimmjow, confused at the image she sees "Why is he tied?"

"Chief's orders." Grimmjow answered.

"I am aware but I can't gain his trust if only time I can talk to him is when he is bound like an animal." She replied, frowning heavily at orderly who quickly waved with hands.

"Wooow, easy there doc." He tried to explain "Look, bad diagnosis happens every day. Every doctor does it at one point during his career and that's fine but these folks here are dangerous. If he goes full caveman on you and hurts your pretty face, hospital is liable."

"I already stated that I am aware and accept any injury I receive." Rukia protested, crossing her arms.

"Yea but tell that to your brother. You get hurt, your family sues hospital, we pay the astronomical fee that sharks you people call lawyers throw at us and who will then take 'em? This is safer and no one is liable if shit happens."

"Fine." Rukia hissed through her teeth and entered room, closing door behind just before Grimmjow could follow. Small victory was that she could hear him growl in annoyance from the other side but all that disappeared as she looked at Ichigo. "Good afternoon." She greeted him but no answer came.

"Still not talking to me?" She posed a rhetorical question, taking the chair that was delivered prior to her entrance and placed it by Ichigo's bed to sit on "Too bad, I think you have some wonderful stories to tell." Yet again no answer came… Ichigo was staring outside of the window and this time it sparked Rukia's curiosity "Do you wish you could leave?" Still silence "You know, doctor-"

"I am not a doctor." Ichigo cut her off from continuing that sentence.

"You have a degree."

"I lost that title long ago when I broke the oath." Ichigo continued in monotone voice. His eyes still adorned bags under them, revealing the lack of sleep.

"Do you remember it?" She asked "Do you remember Hippocratic oath?"

"In Japanese, English, Latin, Greek, Italian, German, Serbian."

"So how did a genius like you end up in place like this?" Rukia asked, crossing her legs and observing him carefully. Not a single muscle on his body moved. If it wasn't for blinking, she would say he is perfect statue. "Can you tell me something about yourself?"

"You'll learn all from my files. There's more in it than I remember…"

"Is it that bad?" Rukia asked, straightening her legs again and leaning forward. Her voice was soft and quiet as she spoke "How does it feel inside your head?"

"Bugs, bugs, bugs…" He chanted, his eyes narrowed and lips parted to reveal teeth "All I hear are bugs crawling, gnawing, flying, shrieking… It doesn't stop, it never ends… buzz buzz buzzzzz… It only stops when I take my pills and I only get them once per day, last for hour, two… maybe less... then buzzing comes."

"Then help me…" She pleaded "If you help me, I can help you."

" _ **Liar!**_ " He growled " ** _You're like Inoue_**!"

"Shut up already!"

" _ **Why do you let her speak? Look at her! She is just like her. She promises to stick around but she'll leave! Who do you have then to lean against Ichigo?**_ "

"I said shut up!" He shouted loud, enough for Grimmjow to open the door but Rukia motioned for him to closed doors. All it took was two sentences and he already looked like he ran a marathon, pulling the leather hard to a point his veins popped on his fists.

"I understand you don't trust me." Rukia said after Ichigo calmed down a bit.

"He is right… you'll leave eventually."

"And if I don't?" She inquired.

"Then you are a fool. You got all the money you need to work at… uhhhh…" He stuttered, shutting eyes tight as he tried to remember "The… big…"

"Tokyo Hospital?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed, chuckling at his own misery of failing to remember one thing he is good at "So tell me, doctor Kuchiki… whose toe did you step on to get here?"

"Would it surprise you if I say I volunteered?" Rukia asked, making him look over at her. He looked surprised, more so than she expected him to be… apparently even he shares same opinion as her colleagues.

"You want my story? Fine, I'll make you a deal… I'll tell you what you want to know and in return you give me scalpel."

"You know I can't do that." Rukia waved her head lightly "I need consent from family." That word 'family' it made Ichigo show one of the most painful expression she has ever seen. He looked like he was on the verge of crying right there in front of her. His eyes glossed, his lips quivered and fingers grabbed tight onto the bedsheet. "You have a family, don't you?" She asked, knowing whose son he is but still wanted to hear from him.

"Dad… two sisters." He said, locking his gaze at the single point in front of him "Karin should be in national team by now… Yuzu wanted to be like her older brother…"

"And your father?"

"He can die for all I care." Ichigo answered bluntly, changing his facial expression in matter of a second.

"Do you hate him? I know children of famous doctors tend to live in shadows of their parents."

"No, he wanted to live in my shadow…" Ichigo explained, leaning back against bedpost "Kept pushing me to be better… kept me in check… he's good dad. Gave me the best… repaid him in nothing but pain."

Rukia listened to Ichigo, soaking in every word he said. There are still so many questions she wanted to ask him but feared he will block her out again… right now, she needed to make him comfortable, even for a little bit.

"Do they visit you?"

"No." He answered bluntly.

"Why not?"

His head bowed forward and his look fell down and he stared at blanket. His words were quiet "Because I told them not to come. Told them… that… I get better alone."

"Do you miss them?" She asked and he nodded. The same, pained expression emerged once more as his lower lips began shaking "Why did you tell them not to come?"

"Why should they come?" He shouted, snapping his head to look at her "What are they going to see? Older brother who they looked up to? Son who failed? If I am lucky they will see me when I medicated and able to speak! And what if they come when all these… WORMS start crawling in my head? Do you think I want them to see me in bed with drool on my lips and piss in my pants?! Is that what how you would want your family to see you?!"

Rukia listened him in silence, unsure what to answer. He broke that silence with a shout "Answer me!"

"I can't…"

"They will come… they will want to hug me! And they will see…" He added, voice began shaking, struggling to maintain the same tone.

"What will they see?" Rukia asked. Ichigo looked down at his right wrist and as if it was a sign, she stood up from her chair and sat on bed next to him. Carefully, she moved her hands, only lightly brushing fingertips against his skin. He closed his eyes and moved head away from her, breathing hard, fast, facing the struggles of Hercules to maintain his fragile sanity. She moved his sleeve up and he turned his arm enough for her to see. It was not a sight she wanted to see and she gasped… scars adorned his wrist, made by sharp and jagged objects and she even saw teeth marks.

"Is this your doing?" Rukia asked and he quickly nodded.

"I tried to kill her…" he whispered and then shouted "I tried to kill Yuzu! She just wanted to sit on bed and… and HE came out… when I gained my senses… I was on the floor… two men on top of me and she… she was in corner, sobbing, holding her neck… coughing… I'll rather kill us both before I let him do that again..."

"I am sure she understands." Rukia tried to comfort him but he snapped again. Leather straps screeched from the pure pressure that tried to rip them.

"I won't let him…" He continued, slowly losing himself in his own logic "He won't leave this place…"

"Is that why you refuse to talk to doctors?" Rukia asked "it's not that you are lost case… you don't want to be cured. Is that it?"

Ichigo took few, long seconds to think before nodding. Everything became clear to her… the reason why doctors lost faith in curing him was not because they couldn't get to him due to his own insanity, rather, it was because he didn't let them. She began realizing that he thought of himself as a prison to the madman who tried to kill sister that he loves. To him, this was penance for the deed and he is only jailer capable of keeping him in check. It was enough to start.

"They won't feel better knowing that you are suffering here. Trust me no sister wants to see her big brother in place like this. Please, let me help you."

Ichigo laughed at these words. Just a moment ago he was on verge on crying and now he laughed to a point where his tears would come out. She wasn't sure exactly how many Ichigos are inside or how many slivers of the persona are controlling his emotions. For all she knew, there could be thousands of pieces, each connected to the other but each with its own base of emotion.

"You want to help me because you want to progress in career." Ichigo said, letting out a soft sigh, still recovering from the laugh attack.

"What if we help each other, hm?" She inquired "You help me and I help you."

"Seems unbalanced, don't you think doctor?"

"No but you just shown me that you can be bribed so… how about we negotiate a price?" This seems to have gotten his attention and he looked at her with his brown eyes "Let me prove to you that I won't give up on you and I will find your family and bring them here."

"That is not a bargain, that is ultimatum." He scoffed.

"They miss you, doctor." Rukia said in soft voice, trying once more to touch his hand. His reaction was less violent, though he did clench his fist hard. Still, he allowed her and he could feel warmth of her palm. She wasn't orderly or nurse, she isn't here to inject drugs into him to make him stable… she was here, willingly.

"If you fail… I want you to get them…" He said, barely uttering every word.

"I will-"

"And make them sign papers for euthanasia." Ichigo finished his sentence, shooting cold gaze at Rukia. She hesitated to speak… this was not what she wanted, not what she planned to do but he seemed to be willing to cooperate even if it is on lesser level. Unsure how she will explain this to chief of medicine, she collected her bravery and took a deep breath.

"Deal." She confirmed. His wrist twisted under the restraints and he grabbed her hand, tightly squeezing. It took every bit of her strength to remain calm and not panic but he just nodded and released her hand. She stood up from his bed and offered him a smile "Would tomorrow be good day to start?" Rukia asked and he nodded. It was enough for her.

As she walked over to door, he called for her "Wait!"

"What is it?" She turned herself and looked toward Ichigo.

"Look out for a boy called Wonderweiss."

"Is something wrong with him?"

"He's been here for three years. Boy is autistic and on experimental risperidone anti-psychotics… he is not responding to them well and…" he stopped, closing eyes as he battled his own mind to be able to speak "He's gonna develop epilepsy soon. When he does, get him off risperidone and put him on antiepileptics. Drugs they use is are gonna mix well with anticonvulsants…"

Rukia looked at him, wide eyes and lips parted, amazed by what she just heard. For a brief moment, she could see... the glimpse of a man that exists as unbroken entity.

"How do you know?"

"He is over there…" he pointed with right hand at door "Across this room. I hear him every night…"

Rukia nodded and opened the door. Just before she left, she turned once more to look at Ichigo "You may have convinced yourself otherwise but I do still see doctor who cares… even if you don't."

"I may be lost but kid doesn't need to suffer. Get him off the anti-psychotics… there is no cure for autism."

Rukia left the room, closing doors behind him. Grimmjow was already there, waiting for her.

"You are either craziest or the most brilliant doctor I've seen." He commented, looking through the window to spot Ichigo. He was already lost in his own thoughts, looking through the window.

"Maybe a bit of both." She added, grinning to herself.

"Yeah, well, take good care of him, alright?" Grimmjow said with a small chuckle, witnessing small medical miracle.

"You think he can be saved?"

"Nah…" he waved his head "But it is painful to see him like this." He added and opened doors of the room, preparing to enter and untie Ichigo from his restraints. Before he closed door, he said "You know, him and I, we went to same elementary school."

With newfound faith in progress, Rukia returned to her office, flopping down onto the chair. These few hours have managed to mentally exhaust her. Only now she realized just what she promised him… a trial period to help him and if she fails… to kill him. There is no way doctor Sosuke will allow this but at least it gave her time and much needed opening in his brick wall to slip through. Now it was time for her training to show results and she understood that any slip, any mistake could make this tower made out of cards fall down. She was glad she managed to reach out to him but in truth… content was just a front, deep down, she was terrified of what she could find inside his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As I write his story I am beginning to realize that it will be sort of an experiment to test my ability to delve deep into human mind and pull out best and worst. Bad thing is, poor Ichigo has to suffer... I have to reward him for being good lab-rat. Still, this story is giving me a healthy distraction and chance to pull away from my main fanfic that... caused me great amount of grief in last couple of weeks. Anyway, the demons continue and as always, I'd like to know what you think about chapter.**

* * *

26th September 2016

Doctor's log

I was surprised by doctor Sosuke today. When you are in my position, you already know what kind of people become doctors. There is money to be made, reputation to reach and maintain and I am sad to say that corruption hasn't avoided this noble profession. My brother warned me about such people. Throughout my studies, he prepared me, told me what to do should I encounter such person and how to avoid becoming one. At first glance, doctor Sosuke appears to be such man but his agenda doesn't seem to be as malign as I suspected… in fact… I am convinced he cares for patients as much as he cares for the institution.

It has been a week since I started working with patient Ichigo Kurosaki. True to his word, he accepted to talk to me, although our conversations are rather short for now. I thought that he just needed to get better acquainted with me to open up. I was wrong. There is a pattern with him. Two times per day I come to his room and try to learn about him. First visit ends up with him either refusing to talk to me or switches between his two personas. Second visit always proves to be a bit more fruitful, although they are short. He told me why this occurs… I couldn't have imagined that he could be crafty.

* * *

For most people, Mondays tend to be a modern horror. It became a popular icon in culture, representative for everything a working man and woman hate… that first day of the week. There are however two exceptions to this unwritten rule. First are those who just started working, untainted new souls that are yet to find out what it means to experience the daily grind. The other exceptions are those who genuinely enjoy their work, who wholeheartedly accept their position and work toward their goals. Rukia, one would say, belongs to both of these groups. Every new day meant learning something new about her patient. She saw it… she has peeked into the first layer of his broken psyche and noticed threads of sanity that still linger. Like a tattered cloth with too many patches, she saw where they go and believed that she can put them where they belong. Truth remains that Ichigo will never be the person that he once was but at least he may yet come to terms with his other persona. If she works diligently, if she is patient and supportive… she may create an environment in which true Ichigo may ascertain dominance over the demon that stalked him. That moment is not here yet…

"Doctor Kuchiki!" Male voice called for Rukia, stopping her from reaching elevator that would lead her to floor where her office is.

"Oh! Good morning doctor Sosuke!" She greeted with smile and held the door, waiting for chief of medicine to enter "How are you this morning?"

"I cannot complain, thank you." He replied and pressed button for his floor "I am eager to hear about your progress with patient Ichigo Kurosaki."

"He is slowly opening up." She said, making Aizen look down at her with genuine surprise in eyes "Though I can understand why many would consider him lost case."

"He gave up himself." Aizen added in soft, sad tone and Rukia nodded "I am afraid there is little we can do for those who willingly throw in the towel. More experienced doctors gave up because of that particular reason."

"They did and it is my firm belief they made a mistake." Rukia quickly added with sharp tone, making sure that Aizen understand her determination.

"Admirable, doctor Kuchiki. Though it will take months, years even. Time is invaluable resource, for him and you."

"If I may ask, doctor…" Rukia turned to look up at Aizen who gazed down with her with his usual smile and warm eyes "You seem to be very interested in my career. Mind if I ask why?"

"You have finished your studies with highest honors. Many doctors praised you for your skills and dedication, not to mention coming from highly influential family that stands behind you. Let's just say that medical community expects much from heir of Kuchiki family. I shall not lie to you, doctor... the bar that has been set for you is high."

Elevator reached floor and doors opened. He smiled down at her and with calm tone uttered "Will you please accompany me to my office? There is something I wish to show you."

"Of course, doctor." Rukia replied, eagerly following him. The difference in height was such that for every step he made, she needed to make two just to be even "Does everyone care so much about my accomplishments?"

"No, of course not." Aizen replied as he walked. His face was unreadable, pleasant, smiling but impossible figure out. He could be a world's most famous murderer and people would trust him instantly just by looking at his face "There are those who are jealous of your ties, others will only be jealous once your brilliance manifests itself through your hard work. However, chances for that are slim if you decide to work here."

"You have said that already." Rukia added calmly. His imposing stature has done splendid work at the beginning but now she was getting used to it "However, aren't you here too?" She asked, making him look down at her "You could have been a world renowned psychiatrist, praised in medical community... but you are here, like I am."

"Ah yes, that is an excellent point." He chuckled and turned doorknob of his office, opening door wide "I believe this may answer your question."

Rukia stepped into his office once more. Last time she was too nervous to notice its décor. Being focused on just one person who reads through your history makes every worm of doubt in you do its absolute worst. Now that she is more relaxed, she had time to inspect the room. On the walls she saw photographs of what seemed to be walls, hallways and rooms of this very institution. It was a sight most dreadful. Walls looked old, paint on them has been peeled and some had holes reaching to bricks. The other photograph showed the same hallway she walks through every day she goes to Ichigo. Lights were torn, hanging by cables, rubbish on the floor and several doors were open. The other pictures were not much better and it looked more like abandoned hotel than a medical institution.

"I assumed position of Chief of Medicine eleven years go. Those photos that you see, I took them myself and they show in what kind of condition patients had to live in. With economy focused on growth and treatment of sick, there was little funding being dedicated to institutions that were designed to simply hold lost cases away from working, contributing population." Aizen explained as he slowly paced around his office, standing by each picture on the wall, observing it carefully before going to another "Like you, doctor Kuchiki, I too care greatly about well-being of those who are no longer capable of helping themselves. For that reason I became chief of medicine of this institution and used my new position to call in few favors, cash in some connections and get appropriate funding. There were some publicity stunts, risky but they paid off. In the end country dedicated a bit more money and following their example, so did few wealthy companies and individuals. In matter of one year, I have rebuilt this institution and turned it into a place that doesn't just follow standards, but sets them."

"That is remarkable." Rukia said, failing to hide her smile. Aizen has proved to be everything she thought he would be.

"Indeed it is. But you are correct. I being here will not push me up on the ladder but position of chief of medicine opened other possibilities for me to act in ways I wouldn't be able to before. It is also true that few chose to work in these kinds of institutions because they are dead ends. That is why I was surprised when I received transfer request from you, doctor Kuchiki. After all, young prodigy with bright future and highly influential family backing her up chose to work in Hueco Mundo. You could have chosen better place to work as psychiatrist."

"That is what they usually tell me." Rukia added as Aizen finished his long elaboration "To tell you the truth, I am taking my career into consideration and I am aware that it may be slowed down. That being said, working with Kurosaki Ichigo has convinced me that this is where I need to be right now."

"Well, I am glad to see your determination, doctor." He smiled wide at her, keeping his soft but piercing gaze locked onto her eyes "I am eager to see results of your work."

It was another small victory for Rukia. As soon as she left Aizen's office, she let out a long sigh of relief. Any conversation with him felt like being bombarded from every side with only one hole to be used as cover. His persona and his unique charisma proved to be difficult to resist but she once again managed. True to his pattern, Ichigo was uncooperative this morning, spending most of the time either dozing off or just falling asleep. She decided to patiently wait for him to wake up, hoping that something would change but it didn't. What she did noticed is that mumbles in his sleep were not random as she thought they would be. It sounded like argue and she knew with whom he argued.

Now, she knew, he will be a bit more eager to talk with her. As soon as she got his chart again she made her way up to the top floor. Grimmjow was already there, in front of the doors with arms crossed, looking inside.

"I swear, sometimes I have a feeling this idiot is just pretending to be mad." He commented as Rukia got close.

"Why? What is he doing?" She asked and looked through the window. Ichigo was standing, posture straight, hands behind his back and face slightly elevated to look at the upper corner where wall meets ceiling.

"He is naming all bones in body, starting from feet and all the way up to head." Grimmjow explained "He does that sometimes and so far he hasn't missed a single bone. It still bugs me how he memorized them to begin with."

"Well… just because he has few issues doesn't mean his memory is impaired." Rukia added, her lips formed into a wide grin "I'll be inside."

"Whoooa! Hold on doc!" Grimmjow quickly grabbed doorknob "I need to prepare him first."

"Is it possible that we can skip it this time?" She pleaded.

"Remember our talk? Liability.."

"Doctor Sosuke won't know if you don't tell him."

"What part of 'No' did you not get? My ass is on the line."

"Tell you what… if you do get fired, I will personally use my family's connections and find you better job."

"I swear every generation of doctors is worse than the one before…" He sighed and opened the door for her "I will be here."

Rukia entered Ichigo's room quietly, observing him as he chants latin names of every bone. He seemed like he is in a trance, a dervish that chants his prayer. She cleared her throat to announce her presence and he raised his left hand to her, signaling her to wait for a bit more. Patiently, she waited for him to finish and once he did, he took a deep breath and turned to face her.

"All done, doctor?" Rukia asked and instead of answer, he walked over to bed and sat on it, moving straps around his right wrist and tying them "Is it necessary for that? I asked orderly to allow me to speak with you untied. You can trust me."

"I trust you, I don't trust myself." Ichigo added, continuing to fasten the leather strap. When he was done he looked up at her "If you see me untying myself, you run. Don't look back, don't stop me, run."

"Are you afraid you might hurt me?" Rukia asked and walked over to the chair, sitting down and crossing her legs.

"I am afraid I won't remember what I did." He said in low tone "This way we are both safe."

"You do not look like you are out of control, doctor." She added and he chuckled.

"That's because I am under medications. My head is… messy but at least I know who is who. If you want us to talk, tell them to bring my medications two hours later… I am tired of hiding them under my tongue."

"Why were you hiding them?"

"They only last for two hours…" Ichigo answered, shifting on his bed so he can be in lying position. His tired eyes were focused up on the ceiling "After that… bug-eyes returns and… whispers in my head. I had to ensure you can talk to me so… they bring me meds, I hide them under tongue, I drink water and then spit them out only to swallow them ten minutes before you come in."

"That is remarkable, doctor." She said with soft, pleased tone. He scoffed at her praise that he believed was more appropriate for a child… then again, the way he behaved sometimes… he is not far from one "Can we talk about your family?"

"Was wondering when you'd ask." He chuckled, tilting head from side to side repeatedly "The mother of all clichéd questions."

"Very well, if you tell me that knowledge of person's family has no influence on his mental state, I will admit my mistake and ask another question."

Ichigo was quiet. The riddle placed before him proved to be impossible to solve and he took a deep breath before speaking "Oldest child, daddy's firstborn who carried great hopes…" he paused to let out a pained chuckle "Dad's always had will…" he made a pause realizing his mistake in sentence. After a short, angry snarl at himself he continued "… -was-… always was a doctor. Or is it 'were'?"

"Do you have trouble speaking?" Rukia asked, watching his pained expression with good dose of worry.

"It's kind of hard when you have whispers in head. I sometimes forget what I wanted to say and… I start saying another thing in my head but mouth says other and…" Ichigo chuckled again "It's a mess when it comes out. Embarrassing for a man."

"I don't think it's embarrassing" Rukia smiled, trying to reassure him "What more can you tell me about your family?"

"Dad raised us…" he nodded "Me, Yuzu, Karin… turned down chance to work with best so he could raise us. Started working in clinic to pay for everything… for my scho… schu… for me going to medical school. I think he tried too hard to make up for mom too…"

"Your file mentions you had mother. Can you tell me what happened to her?"

"No no no no no…" He chanted, beginning to shake his head more than it was needed "Can't talk… won't talk…"

"Do you think problems came from-"

" _ **I said no!**_ " He growled at her, sitting up, bearing teeth at her. Rukia's heart raced by his sudden animalistic snarl. She saw his free hand twitching, fist closed and opened and fingers crooked. He was struggling, feeling great urge to reach for that strap around his other wrist and open it. For a brief moment, Rukia was sure he would do just that… rip it apart and pounce at her. But he didn't. He clenched his fist and placed it on his forehead, slowly returning back into lying position. Ichigo won and she learned that mentioning his mother was a trigger for him. She will have to come back to it but not now…

"And your dad?" She asked casually, making maximum effort to appear fearless in front of him.

"I love my dad…" Ichigo replied with smile on his lips "I hate his guts but I love him too…" He made a short pause and chuckled to himself "Ever since I was kid, he refused to wake me up like normal kids are awa.. woken… mmmm! Like how they get…"

"It's okay, I know what you mean." Rukia added, ending his struggle.

"He'd barge into my room screaming…"Ichigo made another pause and cleared his throat. "Good morning Ichigo!" he shouted, loud enough that Grimmjow had to look through the glass. Rukia was less composed and stifled a laugh.

"Yeah… he'd grab my sheets and pull them from under me. I could be in a coma and that'd wake me up." Ichigo concluded. For the first time, Rukia managed to see a true smile coming from him caused by a pleasant memory "Of course when I grew up, he'd just kick me out of the bed."

"Kick you out?" Rukia asked, raising her brows.

"Literally. He would sneak into my bedroom and kick me so hard I would fall down from bed. That's the first time he broke toe and… nose."

"How did he break his nose?"

"I punched him!" He exclaimed with chuckle "Ten minutes later… like nothing happened. He's reason why I pulled through… finished med school. All those years of trying to be there for mom to are gone to waste…"

"What about your sisters?" Rukia quickly changed the topic, seeing that continuing to talk about his father may cause Ichigo's already fragile stability to be compromised by the flood of emotions.

"Karin is… sport fanatic…" Ichigo started, scratching back of his head as he spoke about her "She is one of the sane ones in family. Good at school, wanted to…" He chuckled yet again as his lips rubbed one against another "She dreamed of getting into professional football, be in national team for the Olympics."

"And Yuzu…" long pause ensued as he remembered his other sister. She could see that once again he was on the verge of tears. Memories of her, as pleasant as they were, are overshadowed by that one moment. Rukia was unsure what to say so she allowed Ichigo to carry on with his pace "She tried her best to be mother figure in family. She knows how to cook, how to clean, how to keep everything in check and she looked up to me…" His words suddenly got caught in his throat "I remember her saying that… she wants to become a nurse… help people."

His left hand instantly rose up and he pressed both his eyes hard, attempting to bury the tears and prevent them from emerging.

"We talked about one day running family clinic… I'd be doctor and she'd be nurse. Guess that dream is down in the drain now."

"It's not too late."

"Yeah it is." He cut her off before she continued "We both know that there is no cure for… this…" he clenched his fist and began hitting his forehead lightly "If there was I'd be cured by now. At best I get to look forward to reconciling with that demon inside my head and have him surrender control over my body. But he'll never be gone for good. So what future do I have?"

Rukia was once again speechless. Whatever answer she could conjure would not be right one and it would not soothe his pain. He was not like every other patient who came begging for help. No, Ichigo understood everything about his own plight. He was aware of everything that could happen and simple reassurance would not work on him. A burden of knowledge.

"If everything works out for the best, assuming your sessions do their miracle, I can only look forward to working in a clinic and hope no one knows about me. And what if it fails? What if I snap at the patient for the stupidest of thing and plunge scalpel into someone eye? You can't hope to cure me… I will be a burden to my family and watch from a background as they pity their son and brother who became half man… broken man." He sat up slowly, giving her enough reason to believe that it is indeed him. His hand was still tied up and he leaned forward as much as he could, revealing his bloodshot eyes and bags that were formed by sleep deprivation "I will not become a burden to my family, doctor Kuchiki. Yuzu and Karin will grow up and fulfill their dreams, away from me, away from having to look after their older brother who should be looking after them! If I sense for two seconds that I will end up as a patient in bed with them having to dance around the bed just to look after me, feed me, change me… I will slit my own throat… better they grieve me for few months and move on than to spend their lives taking care of someone who should've been their guardian… not object of pity."

"And if you are wrong?" Rukia asked, gulping down hard. There was little hope that she would bear to hear his words, his story, and remain stoic and professional. He needed strength and support and yet… she found herself doing what he loathes most… she pitied him. Ichigo positioned himself once more on the bed, stretching his body onto the sheet.

"Then I will spend my life looking over my shoulder, wondering when demon will take over. Could be today, could be tomorrow and could be in my sleep." He turned head to look at her "Tell me honestly, doctor Kuchiki, no lies, no deception, no false hope… Do you honestly believe that I can ever be cured?"

She took a long minute to think. Every second felt like an eternity in the haunting silence that occurred. Ichigo was patient. He waited for her to make up her mind and talk but Rukia was not sure what to say. After all, he is right… patients like him are never truly 'healed'. All he can look forward to is peace with his own shattered fragment of personality and hope that his own strength will be enough to keep it at bay. He is also right that the same fragment may come out at any point… a momentary weakness is all it needs to resurface.

"I believe that without trying, you cannot be cured." She answered, opting to sound professional rather than personally involved "I also believe that you deserve that chance. One way or another, this case now belongs to me and I will do whatever I can to give you that chance… but before that happens, you also need to place a little trust in me. I may not be able to cure you but I know I can show you that with your strength, you can help yourself."

Ichigo watched her silently. His eyes wandered on her, measuring her up and down before they were focused forward.

"I will regret it then… It's best you leave now, doctor… medications are going to lose effect soon and…"

"And?" Rukia asked.

"And I don't want you to see what I am going to become and what I will say. It is not nice; it doesn't suit for pretty woman like you to hear it."

Slowly, Rukia stood up from her chair and looked down at her. Hope was still present and she even managed to make a mental note of the compliment he gave her. It was indeed regrettable that he had to succumb and become what he is right now. If they met in any other circumstance, she was sure that he would be someone who could teach her great deal about medicine… about life perhaps.

Without saying any word, she left the room and Grimmjow locked door as she did so.

"Any progress?" He asked.

"Not much. For now it is more important we build a foundation before delving into his problems." Rukia replied, watching through the window at Ichigo. He reached and untied strap on his wrist, lightly rubbing the spot "His family will be important but there are issues that he refuses to talk about."

"His mother…" Grimmjow added and Rukia nodded, looking up at him "He refused to talk about her."

"Yes… you know about his mother?"

"I know that she was killed when he was still young." He said with a grumble. Even he was not all that keen on talking about it and she could see it "I also know that he witnessed it. Look, I ain't expert but, if you wanna get to him, you may have to start there."

"Then that's where I will start."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've had a lot of time to wonder where I want my characters... I know where two main ones will end up but I needed to figure out where rest will fit in. To my own surprise, I decided to make Aizen good guy in this story. Making him turn into bad doctor seemed like cliche which I wanted to avoid at any cost. It also gave me time to ponder how to create Ichigo, how to construct him to be both genius and insane. A touch of philosophy seemed to do the trick. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

3rd October 2016

Doctor's log

My shifts are becoming longer with every day. It is not work time that has been extended but the amount of work I am getting from other doctors is staggering. Doctor Sosuke says that every new doctor passes through this phase, like a rite of passage that separates doctors from those who just 'play one'. Aside from my specific case, I am also being given tasks of overlooking number of other patients. In past two weeks I had to perform three resuscitation and I have never been this scared. Medical school prepares you for a lot of things but I always had senior doctors overlooking me. In two out of three cases I was all alone with nurses around me, following my lead. I didn't panic, I wasn't frozen but I was genuinely afraid for their lives. I doubt they were even aware what I did.

The only thing that keeps me sane in the place where sanity is matter of perspective is time I get to spend with Ichigo Kurosaki. I am laughing as I am writing this. The most broken man in entire asylum is the one that keeps me genuinely excited. I have also learned that he was in romantic relationship with doctor Inoue prior to him being brought here. Information was not public however, I was told by orderly Grimmjow about it and it cleared some things that previously confused me. Fortunately for me, he didn't punish me with silence because I brought it up. It is slowly becoming clear that I am horribly under-qualified to treat him. Today he touched me in such way I felt completely weak. No one, not even my brother whom I hold in highest regard, has not even came close to make me feel like he did…

* * *

Exhaustion quickly caught up with Rukia. Today is third time she had to bring back a patient from brink of death. Elder man, early sixties suffered his second heart attack and she was closest to him. Her brain has been tuned in such way that every time she would hear coding sounds, her adrenaline would burst and like a lion she would look around to determine where beeping is coming from. Though her energy was still holding, her mind was being thrown into spin like in a centrifuge. What little free time she had, Rukia spent it watching other doctors and their ways with patients. True to doctor Sosuke's words, each had different approach to the problem. For some it proved to be effective while others barely spent more than a minute with patient. It was sufficient to examine them and either confirm prescriptions or alter them before moving on. She gritted her teeth watching one doctor do just that. Is this why they became doctors?

Alas, her cold glare hasn't passed unnoticed. Like a wraith, Aizen always lurked in asylum, often surprising Rukia by appearing right behind her when she least expects. How can a man that tall move unseen, she thought… He was never without a smile, never without encouragement to remain strong. Rukia gladly took his advices as they often led to her own salvation for the day. What truly did elate her spirit was the time she spent with Ichigo. With her notebook she made her way up to level where hollows reside, devoid of any remaining personality other than that one demon that plagued them… and at the very end of hallway, he sat in his room. Legs bent up, arms resting upon knees and eyes locked somewhere in the distance. Before she would enter, Rukia always spent few minutes watching him through the small window, wondering what he is thinking, wondering if he is daydreaming about some place far away where all the pains of this world are but a myth and where he can truly be himself.

Lately she has been persistent with Grimmjow to allow her to enter the room without having to tie Ichigo. At first he was adamant about it, refusing to go against hospital's regulations no matter how much she pleaded him, empathising on words such as "policy", "liability" and "my ass". It was becoming annoying to hear him use them over and over but she knew that he isn't doing this on purpose. Quite the contrary, regardless how annoying it became, she admired his dedication and loyalty to hospital. There was a brief thought to bribe him to be silent about her entering Ichigo's room while he is unbound… but then she would be like every other corrupted doctor.

"Good afternoon, doctor Kurosaki." Rukia greeted Ichigo as she entered room, bringing her chair close to bed.

"You're back…" He said in low tone, turning head to look at her. Unlike other times when she kept her distance of at least two meters away from bed, now she was just beside it, sitting on her chair with legs crossed. His eyes twitched as he looked down at them but then he looked up at her eyes once more.

"After two weeks is there a doubt about my arrival?" She asked calmly. Lately she felt a lot more relaxed around him and often showed pleasant expression. Smile was always present, hoping that it will give Ichigo just a little bit more comfort around her. He chuckled.

"Every day." Ichigo replied as he stopped chuckling "Every day I wonder if you will come and every day you manage to disappoint me by coming through that door."

"Is that so?" She inquired "Tell me now honestly, and by that I really wish you to be honest with me. Do you really want me to abandon this case? I could get another job and we will never converse again."

Silence fell between them as Rukia patiently waited for his answer. She expected him to shoot answer at her, to say 'Yes' and then turn away like a bitter man whose hatred burns to the very core of his being. His lips moved. They were pressed one against another but they moved, as if he is trying to pull a piece of food from between his teeth. Ichigo did turn his head but he didn't answer. That alone was more than enough for her to understand him. No. He did not want her to leave. Deep down, even with his fragmented mind that talked to itself, he was still lonely. Five years of isolation from the world, five years of seeing same faces again and again has done its damage on him. His eyes said everything that she needed to know… though he looks like man of thirty years, his mind and soul were twice if not thrice the age. Old man trapped in a body of youngling.

"Well then…" She started, leaning back against her chair "I suppose we will continue to talk. How does it feel to have other personality in head?"

"What? They didn't teach you that at med-school?" He asked with a snort.

"They taught me what symptoms I need to look out for, but not how it feels." Rukia took a small pause to observe Ichigo who was now fixated on her legs. The way he stared at her at her skirt that reached well below her knees was uncomfortable but it didn't took long for her to realize that there is something bothering him. She could've asked but there are few hints that were picked along the way during their conversations. So… she took a wild guess "Do I remind you of her that much?"

"Her?" He asked, eyes snapped up to look and catch Rukia's gaze. Petite doctor said nothing and it was now Ichigo's time to take a hint "Legs. She crossed it the way you do now."

"How about now?" Rukia asked and crossed her legs other way around, letting her left one rest atop of right one. There was a click in Ichigo's head, followed by a sigh of relief that he let out through his nose. Least she could do is to not make him feel uncomfortable. She wanted to inquire on it, on his relationship with Orihime. Notes were very concise regarding her work with Ichigo. It was Rukia's assumption that she kept her own, private notes or simply didn't take ones other than absolute necessary ones. Still, this was not good time for it "So, how does it feel to have your 'demon' in head?"

For whole, long and silent minute he stared at her before speaking "Imagine talking to someone over Skype with headset on. You constantly have that one voice that is inside your head and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and then someone comes… Someone from outside… Comes next to you and asks you something. You try to push away that voice you keep hearing over Skype, you try to focus yourself on person beside you but voice never ends… it keeps talking. Confusion…" He whispered that last word and nodded slowly "You hear two voices and you can't isolate one from another. Imagine that… only the voice in your head talks against you, confuses you, does its best to… make you madder than you already are."

"And now?"

"Now I got those… umm… ant- an-…" He mumbled, shutting down his eyes hard as he struggled.

"Antipsychotics?" Rukia asked and Ichigo quickly opened his eyes.

"Yesssss…" He exclaimed, elongating the word "Think of them as volume button. The voice is still there but it's somewhere in the background… crawling, nagging but… I hear my own thoughts." Soft chuckle followed end of his sentence and he leaned head back against the pillow "I don't get enough time to be with just my own thoughts but when I do… I sometimes wonder if he is product of my mind or spawn of my soul."

This intrigued female doctor. The mention of soul and how he made sure to emphasize that word… it was not something she expected to hear.

"Are you religious, doctor Kurosaki?"

"You mean if I believe in God?" Ichigo asked, shifting head on pillow to look at Rukia. She nodded to him and after a short pause he sighed and continued "I do. Do you not?"

"I am person of science. I do not think that religion and science mix well." Rukia explained.

"So am I." Ichigo answered quickly "Doesn't mean I don't believe."

"For me it is a bit more difficult." Rukia added, her smile subsided a bit "When you look at what happens in the world, it is hard to believe."

"Then you are not looking from every perspective." Ichigo added and Rukia tilted her head in curiosity "What do you think happens when we die?"

"I haven't really thought about it. I suppose nothing."

"Can you imagine 'nothing'?" Ichigo asked, sitting up on his bed with just right arm tied at it. Unlike previous times when Rukia would feel spiders crawl up her spine, now she didn't react to his movement "Nothing… absence of something, void of everything, anything… completely empty space where nothing exists. Molecules, radiation, photons, empty. It's not just color black going into infinity, there is no black in it. Not black, not white, not blue. Nothing. Can you imagine it?"

Rukia was unsure how to take it. She truly tried to imagine but the concept of it became overwhelming and she frowned. Ichigo caught this subtle shift in her expression and he rewarded her with wide grin.

"You cannot. Do you know why? Because we are creatures that are designed to understand limits. There is limit how long we can live, there is limit to how far we can see, how much we can eat, how long we can go without sleep, how fast we can run, how loud we can scream… Our lives are defined by limits and we are utterly incapable to understand concepts such as 'nothing' and 'infinite'. It frightens us to even imagine that our conscience can cease to exist completely."

"There is a theory that God is concept made by humans to explain forces that are beyond understanding." Rukia retorted but Ichigo laughed. It wasn't genuine laugh, it sounded forced but at the same time it gave out the slight malicious vibe.

"There is also a concept that seemingly random objects with random patterns make us believe in something we thought didn't exist. How about those meteors that space telescopes found and send pictures of? There were, and I kid you not, towers. Actual towers, looked like it was made by humans of middle age while the other had a face on it. You'd say that it is construction of aliens but it is, in fact, a random formation that we connected to something we do understand. But you wonder whether or not God exist? He does. And not just as an old man with beard and a stick watching from the cloud… no no no no no… we are utterly incapable of understanding the concept of God because we are utterly incapable to understand concept of infinite."

"And what do you think God is then?" Rukia pressed with question, pondering on his words. Ichigo raised his free hand and pointed it up at the ceiling, extending only his index finger.

"One of the most basic theories about universe is that it is infinite and expands. Can you imagine that? A space that already has no limits continues to expand and with it brings another concept. As it becomes infinitely large so do we… humans… become infinitely tiny. If you believe in God's existence for just one minute you will realize how insignificant we are compared to entity that created this vast realm of existence. We are but a small creatures on a small planet orbiting small star barely out of its diapers that is a part of a cluster of stars, of a small galaxy that belongs to supercluster that is part of even bigger cluster that is tiny, miniscule part of one cloud of galaxies. And you think we are center of universe? How important are we to entity that created something so vast that keeps getting bigger?"

"I haven't really thought about it…" Rukia admitted, processing the information that Ichigo laid upon her.

"We are the creatures that are defined by limits. We know that space is infinitely vast and as far as we know, universe started with Big Bang. Rough explanation says that everything was compressed into a tiny dot which exploded and created our observable universe but no one knows what happened before it. Chances are we will never know. Some say that… our beautiful little existence will one day be compressed into another big bang to create universe all over again but if it's not true then our universe will continue to expand, infinitely moving away until the space between two atoms becomes roughly… few hundred trillion light years. And that will be the end. Not soon, no no no… many billion years but… it will happen. That or…" He stopped to chuckle "We will be way too close to one another. But answer me this… Who made it? Has it really been there since… forever? Does our universe exist since forever? We can't say, no, our brains refuse to accept something that has no beginning because we cannot comprehend that concept. Can you really look up in the sky and say that there isn't something or someone who made it? Someone bigger than life itself?"

"Maybe it is just coincidence." Rukia answered, still a bit baffled by his words.

"Ah yes, the law of infinite probability will state that if something has even smallest of chance of happening, then it will happen eventually. Let's look at life!" He exclaimed and took a plastic cup with water, taking a sip. Slowly, he raised cup and showed it to Rukia "Our existence can be explained by the fact that we are on good planet, in good location with climate events that were favorable for us to be conceived. Our creation was improbable but not impossible. What many fail to realize is that Universe is mad!"

"Mad?" Rukia asked, watching Ichigo laugh like Joker.

"Mad! Universe suffers from same disease that I suffer from. You want proof? Tell me doctor Kuchiki, what are you made of?"

"Pardon?" Rukia raised both her eyebrows up at his question. Ichigo nodded few times "Muscles, bones, blood-"

"Deeper, go deeper." Ichigo added after interrupting her.

"Tissue composed of different kinds of cells." Rukia continued numbering the basic material of average body but it didn't please Ichigo.

"Have you ever watched Inception? We have to go deeper."

"Amino acids?"

"Deeper."

"Elements…"

"YES!" Ichigo exclaimed loudly like a football fan after a goal. This managed to startle Rukia slightly but his genuine smile ensured her that it is 'right' Ichigo "Elements. Hydrogen, Helium, Oxygen, Carbon… So many elements and they were all forged in our little star."

"Yes I know that one." She smiled "We are all stardust. It is actually quite romantic."

"No no, not just romantic. Think about it. Everything in this universe exists in form of molecules… atoms… protons, electrons, neutrons… Twelve types of matter, four types of energy… neat little concoction. Focus on atoms, building blocks of matter. Everything that exists here… on this Earth, is a product of a star, be it our Sun or another star but those atoms are forged there! You are… deep down… nothing more than collective of atoms that moves around and processes everything that happens around! You are the product of Universe… no you –are- Universe itself." He laughed yet again but this time to a point his eyes became teary "You are but a thought of this Universe, trying to understand itself! You, me, seven billion more people… we are a… passing thoughts, proving that Universe suffers from worst kind of split personality disorder."

"That is amazing… when you think about it." Rukia added in low tone, unable to contain the smile that appeared on her lips. Her eyes kept gazing at Ichigo's, desperately trying to believe that Ichigo is insane… but more he spoke, less she was convinced.

"So if you are collection of atoms… how are you more alive than this cup of water?" Ichigo asked with straight, serious face as he held plastic cup, half-filled with water "There is oxygen and hydrogen. They exist in your body too so… who determines how life begins? Aminoacids? How come we have so much freedom to think, live, act and justify it as a biological action when biology cannot fully comprehend mind? If it does I wouldn't be sitting here, heavily medicated, talking to you about universe, God and life. It is my understanding that if something has a chance to happen and it happens, it is coincidence but if it happens again and again and again… then it stops being coincidence and becomes pattern. If we are alive here, then there must be another planet with life. Maybe tens of millions of planets with life and how will we explain then how they are alive and not planets? If so, then we are not coincidences, we are in fact conceived and planned out. Problem is… I do not believe that collection of atoms can walk around and be sentient while same atoms behave like inanimate objects."

"So you believe that there is more to it than just biological explanation for life? Like souls?"

"And who decides how souls are made?" Ichigo asked, leaning forward toward Rukia "What are souls? Where did they come from? Where do they go?"

"I suppose… to someone who created them." Rukia said in soft tone, finally placing every word Ichigo said where it belongs to become sensible.

"So let me ask you one final question. Who decided natural laws? Who decided that Earth's gravity creates 9.81 meters per second of acceleration? Why is that number not higher for same mass? Or lower? Why is light almost 300 thousand meters per second fast? Why is it not slower or five times faster? Why does gravity remain without mass and forms black hole? We know answers to how, where and when… but we don't know why. We still don't know why we exist or why Universe exists… but someone or something does… even if we are byproduct of it, even if we are the leftover of some bigger plan…" He sighed deeply, feeling the weight of his own words and how much they began influencing his mind "For me, it is hard to look up and not believe that something is responsible for creation of our existence. It is hard to believe that we are just a coincidence, a statistical probability and that after we die we become… nothing. God is not old man with white robe and long beard… God is something we are unable to understand, something or someone who exists at every place in universe… entity we cannot begin to comprehend with our… measly fifty thousand years of modern evolution and two thousand years of philosophy. Blink of an eye… for someone who is as old, if not older, than universe itself."

"You thought this through." Rukia added, marveling at this outburst of philosophy that poured out of Ichigo.

"I had a lot of time to talk to myself." He answered, returning to lying position "Not always do I fight with my demon… sometimes we talk. Which is why I wonder if he is product of my mind or my soul. If he is my mind then I can hope to come to terms with him… but if he is product of my soul… then what right do I have to make him fade into my sub-conscience?"

"But you wanted to kill him."

"Oh I do. I still want to kill him for what he did but… I get bored sometimes. You cannot comprehend the torment of sitting in one room all day, every day with your own thoughts. It is hell… and I want it to end…"

"We still have agreement." Rukia added, making him scoff at mention of it. Still she was adamant about it "You promised to give me a chance."

"And you honestly think that there is a chance to cure this little fragment of broken universe?" He asked with chuckle "If Universe was a person, I would be a thought he has when he goes to take a dump but realizes it was just a fart."

The thought made Rukia burst into short laugh, apologizing soon after. It really was something she did not expect him to say. She wanted to stay more but exhaustion was now catching up to him as well. His expression became sour, eyes blinked slowly and lips moved up and down with every breath he took. Medications were slowly losing their effects and he looked like a tired man after a long trip. It was amazing and at the same time saddening… how a man who just talked to her about the concept of very existence and deity could suddenly looks like he was washed up by a flood.

"Well I think we did well for today." She concluded, standing up from her chair. Ichigo didn't answer; instead he scratched his bound wrist. Next time, she will have to look into it, somehow make him talk about all the times he tried to kill himself. It is necessary, but for now… now she was content to be the person who he can talk to.

"Hey doc?" Ichigo called for her, making Rukia turn to look at him just as she was about to reach for doorknob of the room.

"Yes?"

"If it means anything… thanks." He added, showing a brief grin "There is nothing worse than conversation that starts with 'what's up'. I…" he made a short pause before continued "… I enjoyed talking today."

"You are most welcome." She added with wide smile.

"So do you believe in God now?"

"I am not sure…" Rukia said in soft tone, followed by a ponderous hum "But I do have a pretty good idea."

Ichigo said nothing. His eyes slowly closed as Rukia left the room. It was Grimmjow's job now to untie poor sod, leaving Rukia to her own thoughts. As she watched him be untied, laying there on bed as if life itself has decided to leave him, a strange thought occurred… For the first time, there was uncertainty about her current progress. He was opening up but she still hadn't gotten to the core of the problem and she knew well that something triggered his mind to split itself into two... but she was so caught up listening, she forgot her own schedule and what she was going to talk about with him. Right now, there was something else she needed to do. She needed to find his family.


End file.
